Sleep training - night time

I put this off for 4 months (they say you should sleep train from 6 months) until my husband collected up a blanket and went to sleep in the lounge (and I hadn't slept well for a week and a half). I was pretty convinced the wriggling and jiggling at night was no longer her tummy (though now I'm not sure). So at 3:30 am after my husband had gone to the lounge it began...And ended a semi disaster with my little one asleep in my arms at 5:30.

I have come to realise that sleep training is ready about a battle of wills. We had success at it during the day and it is such a pleasure now to put my little one down in her cot during the day drowsy and she goes to sleep by herself. But we still aren't there during the night.

My suggestions:
1. Only try this when little one is well...in retrospect my little one had been miserable for two days, so it was probably a bad idea
2. Get the other spouse to sleep in another room so you aren't worrying about them
3. Singing a song constantly. It helps keep you sane and let's baby know you are there when they don't want you touching them. Hopefully baby still come to know this song and associate it with sleep time
4. Pick up baby if they get absolutely hysterical...that is where we were at 5am, and she just wouldn't settle, and there were barely any gaps between the cries. I probably should have picked her up sooner
5. My little one doesn't like to be touched when she is upset...So I try not to get in her space...hence the song. Initially before she got too upset I would stroke her, or gently tap her, or just have the weight of my hand on her chest
6. Initially she kept trying to get up. Instead of putting her back down by picking her up by her arms, I instead rotated her bum. This made sure I didn't confuse her cause she might have thought I was gonna pick her up, which would have disappointed her and lead to more crying.

The thing I struggle with with sleep training is...If little one cries for an hour and half before falling asleep...then that is effectively the same amount of time as if I had just got up and played with her to make her tired, saving us a lot of tears. But I suppose the whole idea is that they are learning to put themselves to sleep, not you soothing them to sleep.